the unglamourous side


The unglamorous side:


Being an Au Pair is work. It is no holiday and you should take it serious because families leave the most important things in their lives with you: their kids. Even though there are families who see an Au Pair as a sort of exchange student who helps with kids and housework and also want you to be a family member, they want you to come, because it makes them more flexible and their life easier.
So the families should be first in your planning. Having an Au Pair means a lot of advantages for the families, such as having a cheap nanny who can also work flexible times. The compromises they have to make are in their privacy. Some families are looking for a new family member who is welcome to spend the free-time with the family and who are happy to have a cultural exchange in their family and finding out more about you and your home country. Others expect you to leave the family their private time after you finished work. It is important to mention during the interviews what you are exactly looking for. As you live in the family’s house, you have to stick to their rules, even though you might do things different at home. That also contains how parents raise their children. If the family doesn’t want you to have friends over, that is a fact you have to accept.
Being allowed to use the family’s car is a privilege, not obvious. If you are allowed to use the car in your spare-time, you should pay for the petrol. A very inconvenient topic is money. A German expression says: Every friendship ends with money. If your host-family wants to pay you cash, have a certain day in the week when it happens. Having to ask for the money is always an awkward situation, so we would recommend having your income automatically transferred to a bank account. If you work more hours than your schedule says, you should earn more money. But be careful: Helping the family without being asked for it is no work! Make sure, that you always know when you are working and when not. The key to avoid awkward situations is to be out-going, open-minded and good communication. You should be able to talk equally to the host-parents, from adult to adult. Don’t take it personal, if they criticize you, they don’t expect you to be perfect, just willing to learn. Personal attacks are a no-go from both sides – family and au pair. Don’t be afraid to talk about things you find difficult as long as you stay respectful. If things don’t work out at all, don’t be afraid to make drastic decisions. Even though you have to stick to some rules – this time should be the best time of your life, you are a free person and you are free to find your luck in another family.

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